“Don’t call it a comeback…I been here for years…”-Mama said Knock You Out, LL Cool J

Haaayyyyyy….What did I miss?

I have so much to talk about but I’m not sure how frequently I can post.  I’m dealing with a nasty, nasty (I mean nasty!) bout of Lyme Disease.  I don’t generally talk about my health challenges publicly but damn.  PICC lines and everything.  This is r.o.u.g.h.  Prayers welcome.

AND I have a new job.  And I’d like to kick ass at that.  #becausebaltimore

AND I’m a mama.

So maybe I’m a bad juggler right now but whatever.  I need to feel good.  So bear with me, please.

Anyways…

So here’s what’s currently on my mind.  Confederate flag.  Nutritional standards.  Serena Williams.  Emerge Maryland.  A random mix, wouldntyousay?

The Confederate flag.  Folks, this is not a new thing.  That flag has been offending people since the days of knickers and morning dresses (Is that even the right attire? Lol).  We had an inyourface situation last year in Howard County with the flag being flown at a football game..and then being worn in one of the local high schools.  Remember this? Umm. (http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2014/09/15/howard-county-holds-unity-rally-after-confederate-flag-controversy/)

So yes, it needed to come down in South Carolina (and everywhere else).  Yes, people need to take a stand (or in some cases jump on the bandwagon (wink)) and demand it be removed from license plates, public buildings, etc.  My question, though, is this.  Then what?  Then what do we do?

Removing the flag is symbolic.  But what do we do to really start to address the real issue?  The “R Word”.  And the challenges that divide communities and lead to “unrest”?

If you’ve read this blog before, you know I’m a fan of talking stuff out. Chatting with people who don’t run in your circles.  Getting out and listening to folks who don’t look like you.  I’ve even hosted forums and meetings about the Power of Diversity (Turnout is generally ok but not where I think it should be…)  And so what?  I don’t know.  But I sure will keep trying.  And I hope you will too.

Nutritional standards.  I wrote about this before.  And I’ll simply say this.  I believe that when government and individuals work together to create policies and standards to promote healthy living we all benefit.  Howard County Council bill 17 is a start.  A part of a comprehensive approach to promote healthy living.  Reach out to your council person and ask them to support the bill (Call me if you don’t know who your councilperson is or if you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about..)…

Oh..and can we get some Pellegrino in the vending machines?  Vendors, I promise there’s a market for it.

Serena Williams.  A phenom.  A champion.  A brilliant tennis player.  A trendsetter.  How anyone can look at her astonishing resume and winning record and bash her for her body is beyond me?  Is it jealousy?  Umm…  Remember at the beginning of this post when I talked about the need to get out and talk with people who don’t look like you?  Well, find a lady who looks somewhat like Serena and she’ll tell you what’s going on here.

Emerge Maryland.  Disclaimer: I’m an alum.  I’m on the board. Yada, yada, yada.  This program is quietly cranking out some spectacular women leaders in our great state.  If you haven’t heard about Emerge, please check out the website.  And read this spectacular op-ed from the Baltimore Sun (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bs-ed-baltimore-queen-20150721-story.html) which primarily talks about the number of women (particularly African American women) represented in politics in Baltimore but Emerge gets a nod: “Our city needs to continue to cultivate this valuable political resource — the smart, talented and politically ambitious Baltimore woman. Along with the already-visible women in public office and the encouragement from parents and mentors, parties and independent organizations also need to provide more funding for recruitment and training programs focused on women. For example, Emerge Maryland has already  made significant steps to close the gender gap across Maryland and has trained more women to run for office in Baltimore City.”  YASSSSS.

(Sidenote- I was personally excited to see Maureen Evans Arthurs, Katja Fort Rhoden, and Stephanie Masters from the good HoCo graduate this year.)

(Additional sidenote-Giving thanks for Delegates Vanessa Atterbeary and Terri Hill. Can we get some more African American women elected in Howard County.  Like maybe even the first one on our Council? Please?!)

So, anyways, go to an Emerge Open House!  First one is tonight.  At 6pm. At 300 Red Meadows Ct Reisterstown, MD 21136.  You will be inspired.  Love the fellas but who run the world? Girls. Lol (It’s good for the soul to crack yourself up.  And I need to laugh these days.)

“When I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call them cops (what)…Don’t you dare stare, You better move (move)…Don’t ever compare us…To the rest that are all get sliced and diced…Competition paying our price…”

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“All of the stars, you make them shine like they were ours…Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I…You and I…Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I…- You & I (Nobody In The World), John Legend

This song doesn’t go with this post. At all.  It’s been a very tough go recently (writing and awesome friends have helped) and this song is quite meaningful to me and for a person who’s world was shattered a couple of weeks ago. Love you. Always.

Anyways…

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A friend of mine recently posted an article on Facebook that sparked some interesting discussion amongst her FB friends AND made me reflect on my experiences.  The article is called “The Question Light-Skinned Black Women Say They’re Always Asked” and here’s the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/16/light-girls-what-are-you_n_6490038.html.

If you don’t have time to read it or watch the video (yikes), I’ll summarize it (a bit) for you.  The piece features several light-skinned women who “share the common experience of being questioned about their race.”  Apparently, this is a preview of a new documentary called “Light Girls” (http://www.oprah.com/app/light-girls.html).

Now.  I’m not light-skinned.  I’m brown-skinned.  My daughter, though, has light skin and light eyes.  Until the age of 5, her eyes were blue.  They’re greenish/grayish now.

So she’s clearly lighter than me, and from the time she was born, people have asked me if she’s biracial.  Or mixed.  Or my kid (gasp!).  Or something.  And now that she can answer for herself, they ask her directly…”What are you?”.

When she’s answers that she’s black, the next question is often about the race of her father (I’m generally with her or they may have met me so they see that I’m a brown-skinned lady…I was gonna type a brown skinned cutie but I don’t want y’all to think I’m completely full of myself…But I digress…).

“You must be mixed.”  “Is your dad white?”

So why do we do this?  Actress Tatyana Ali had this to say, “There’s a safety in being able to categorize you or categorize a person. ”You can assign all of your preconceived ideas about who this person is: the type of person they are, what kind of behavior you can expect from them — only if they know what you are.”

Is this the reason?  Are people more comfortable with folks who they can categorize?  And if you’re black and you’re skin is lighter does that somehow help you?  Does it matter? Does it somehow help to know whether or not my daughter’s father is white?   I don’t know.

From the article, “Soledad O’Brien, an award-winning journalist and news anchor, says she was shopping for a new coat when the sales person behind the register asked her: “What are you?” When O’Brien responded that she is black, she says the sales person refused to believe her. “She said, ‘No, no, you’re not black. Because black people are thieves. So, what are you?’”

Ummm. WOW.  Advantage #teamlightskinned?

Skin color has definitely always been a “thing” (ever heard of the brown paper bag test?).  Is it generally the first thing people focus on when they meet light skinned women (or men)?  No one asks me where I’m from before they get to know me…

Help me out world.  What’s the deal?  And be honest!

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All of the stars, they don’t shine brighter than you are…Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I…You and I…You and I…

Nobody in the world tonight…Ain’t nobody in the world but you and I…

“You love this town…Even if that doesn’t ring true…You’ve been all over…And it’s been all over you…”- Beautiful Day, U2

I just love that song.  Hum along with me… and please continue to read.  I need your help.

I heard one of the best homilies I’ve heard in a long time at Mass yesterday.  The priest started by asking “What’s your good news?”.

At first I didn’t realize where he was going with this.  And, I admit, though, I’m trying to be patient, I was thinking…well…It’s been a rough couple of months and I’m staying faithful and hopeful but I’m not sure what to say about “good news”.

He continued and said (I’m paraphrasing) with all of the bad in the world: Injustice (he mentioned this a few times and we all knew what he was talking about), pain, war, fighting, etc…we need to do what we can do to change the story. And report our good news.

He went on to talk about not caring about whether you’re a Democrat or Republican (he used those exact words…which made me sit up to see if he was looking at me), gay or straight, black or white.  He’s not interested in your age or how much money you have.

He challenged each of us to do what we can to change the story.

And then report on our good news.

I thought about what he said.  And I changed my attitude.  And while I’m hoping and praying for some personalkindof good news as this year comes to end, I thought about this blog and our community.  And then about how I can help use my voice to change the story and report the good news.

Last week, as you may recall, I wrote about having a community conversation.  If you missed it, please click this link https://isthisthingon1.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/44/.

I was nervous to post it.  But soon after I posted, people started to comment…and text..and call…to express interest in a community conversation.  And then a few elected officials called.  And they too expressed interested in a conversation.

People want to talk.  And figure out what it takes to change the story in our neck of the woods.  (I mean, we don’t have war..but hopefully you get the drift.)

Now, I don’t want to be some lady who just helps start these conversations and then nothing changes.  I don’t want to be labeled but truly this stuff keeps me up at night (Well, this and a few other personal things…). And I also think we need to figure out how to invite folks who generally wouldn’t come.  What good is it to only chat with people who think exactly like you do..or look exactly like you!?

So what do we do?  What do you think?

A few years ago, I came across this program:  http://www.innovating.com/mosaic-partnerships/.  Other communities are talking!  Could this be it?

A friend of mine mentioned that she was a part of this initiative:  http://daytondialogue.org.  Maybe this it?

I don’t know the answer.  But I want to do my part and then tell the good news.  Help me out?

“It’s a beautiful day…Don’t let it get away…It’s a beautiful day…”